GMAT考試作文機(jī)經(jīng)AA部分 5月8日更新（十一）.

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　　17.(4次)

　　原始寂靜：

　　V1(BY: sophie1022): Hot café CEO 在官網(wǎng)上做了feedback 頁面。 雖然只有1500 complain 和500 建議 但是超過300000的銷量 使他們覺得大部分的顧客是滿意的 用FEEDBACK的方法很好，不用改進(jìn)

　　V2(BY: tthere) 一個(gè)咖啡店在每個(gè)receipt上印了feedback page address, 顧客如有建議或不滿可以到那上面留言。但是一段時(shí)間以后，只有100多條意見或建議，考慮到這段時(shí)間前來喝咖啡的顧客人數(shù)有上千人之多，得出結(jié)論，只有很少一部分人對(duì)產(chǎn)品或服務(wù)有意見，所以該咖啡店不用進(jìn)行改進(jìn)。

　　考古：

　　V1 有一個(gè)咖啡店的CEO根據(jù)過去6個(gè)月他們從feedback網(wǎng)頁上得來的信息，認(rèn)為客戶對(duì)店賣的東西和服務(wù)都很滿意，不需要作什么改進(jìn)了。這個(gè)feedback登錄方式印在了receipt上，CEO認(rèn)為顧客都能看到。顧客通過網(wǎng)頁提交的投訴和建議數(shù)量分別是100多和幾十，相較于賣掉的咖啡數(shù)很小。

　　V2六個(gè)月了，the hot cup cafe has a website, containing a customer feedback page,然后customers可以submit comments. the website address is clearly printed on the each receipt, so it is not difficult for customer to access the feedback page. 然后呢，那六個(gè)月the hot cup cafe賣了300,000cups of coffees，但是customer feedback page最有179個(gè)complaints和87個(gè)suggestions(大概數(shù)字是這樣的既不清楚了)。然后就說almost all the customers are satisfied with our current products and customer service department, so we don&apost have make any improvement。

　　V3個(gè)咖啡店在他們的網(wǎng)站上加了一個(gè)customer feedback page，用來做調(diào)查，并且在他們的宣傳單上明確的寫明了他們的網(wǎng)址以便客戶能找到這個(gè)feedback page，在這個(gè)咖啡店賣出了300，000份咖啡中調(diào)查，發(fā)現(xiàn)有500+人正評(píng)價(jià)，100+給了建議。因此他們認(rèn)為根本不需要這些feedback以提高他們產(chǎn)品的質(zhì)量(原文說的是to develop the procedure)

　　V4說一個(gè)咖啡館在網(wǎng)站上建了一個(gè)feedback的專頁，并將網(wǎng)址打印在給每位顧客的Receipt上面。發(fā)現(xiàn)一段時(shí)間后只有一百多條抱怨和幾十條建議，而在此期間咖啡館卻售出了30000杯飲料，于是作者認(rèn)為咖啡館的服務(wù)和產(chǎn)品非常好。

　　參考思路：

　　1.有的很多人對(duì)咖啡店不滿都不會(huì)反映的，他們只會(huì)默默地不來了，所以這些人不滿意也不會(huì)說

　　2.就算有的人不滿意了想說，看到了那個(gè)網(wǎng)站，也不一定會(huì)bother去上網(wǎng)去做feedback

　　3.所以一旦有人有建議和complaints說明情況還蠻嚴(yán)重的，應(yīng)該采取措施去改進(jìn)

　　18.(2次)

　　原始寂靜：

　　V1(BY: chenjx ): the Constidated high school has 200 courses. A smaller school has only 80 courses.but smaller high school send more student to senior college than the Constitude high school does. the consituted high school plan to cancel half of courses so that they can improve perfomance and reduce costs.

　　原題：

　　The following appeared in an editorial from a newspaper serving the town of Saluda.

　　“The Saluda Consolidated High School offers over 200 different courses from which its students can choose. A much smaller private school down the street offers a basic curriculum of only 80 different courses, but it consistently sends a higher proportion of its graduating seniors on to college than Consolidated does. By eliminating at least half of the courses offered there and focusing on a basic curriculum, we could improve student performance at Consolidated and also save many tax dollars.”(此題沒有中文翻譯和Flaw，自己補(bǔ)上的，大家可以討論一下哈)

　　SC這個(gè)高中有超過200中不同的課程，而另一個(gè)更小的私立學(xué)校之提供80個(gè)不同課程，但是那個(gè)學(xué)校的大學(xué)入學(xué)率更高。所以SC覺得應(yīng)該減少至少一半的課程來提高入學(xué)率并減少賦稅(前文都沒有提過tax，這里突然提了一下，可能學(xué)校的course越多，tax越多吧。米國真是奇怪～)

　　七宗罪思路：

　　無因果聯(lián)系：course的數(shù)量和入學(xué)率沒有因果關(guān)系

　　Gratuitous assumption：錯(cuò)誤假設(shè)是因?yàn)樾W(xué)校course少入學(xué)率才高，而直接與入學(xué)率有關(guān)的只有考試分?jǐn)?shù)而已

　　他因攻擊：小學(xué)校學(xué)生更努力，師資力量更好等原因同樣可以使入學(xué)率更高

　　Insufficient example:只是一個(gè)小學(xué)校的例子并不能說明只要course少入學(xué)率就高

　　參考范文：

　　In this editorial the author recommends that Saluda’s Consolidated High School eliminate half of its 200 courses and focus primarily on basic curriculum in order to improve student performance and save tax revenues. The author’s recommendation is problematic for several reasons.

　　To begin with, the author assumes that the only relevant difference between Consolidated and the private school is the number of courses offered by each. However, other relevant differences between the schools might account for the difference in the proportion of their graduates who go on to college. For example, the private school’s students might be selected from a pool of gifted or exceptional students, or might have to meet rigorous admission standards whereas Consolidated’s students might be drawn from the community at large with little or no qualification for admission.

　　Next, the author assumes that the proportion of students who go on to college is an overall measure of student performance. While this is a tempting assumption, its truth is by no means obvious. If student excellence is narrowly dined in terms of the student’s ability to gain access to college, this assumption is somewhat reasonable. However, given a broader conception of student excellence that takes into account student’s ability to learn and apply their knowledge to new situations, its is not obvious that college admission is reliable indicator of performance. For example, students in non-academic disciplines could conceivably perform at high levels within these disciplines but nevertheless be unable to meet college admission standards.

　　Finally, the author assumes that savings in tax revenues will result from the reduced costs of funding the paired-down curriculum. This is not necessarily true. For example, it could turn out that both programs serve the same number of students and require the same number of classrooms and teacher.

　　In conclusion, the author has not made a convincing case for the recommendation to eliminate courses at Consolidated and focus on a basic curriculum. To strengthen the conclusion the author would have to provide evidence that Consolidated and the private school were sufficiently similar to warrant the analogy between them. Moreover, the relationship between student performance and college admission and the mechanism whereby savings in tax revenues would be accomplished would have to be clarified.

相關(guān)鏈接：

1.GMAT考試作文機(jī)經(jīng)AA部分 5月8日更新（十二）

2.GMAT考試作文機(jī)經(jīng)AI部分 5月7日更新（八）

3.怎樣寫好GMAT作文的開頭